The good news is I’ve seen this before. The bad news is the patient was dead at the time.

A medic whose techniques were clearly learned from corpses rather than physicians — horrifying bedside manner, disturbingly effective results. Silly via delivery, never via the world winking.

Design Pillars

  • Second healing lane so Devout isn’t mandatory
  • Strong pairing with Desecrants
  • Dry, gothic-sincere comedy done right

First-Pass Kit (draft — numbers unvalidated)

  • Signature — Field Surgery (out of combat, costs moments): restore 1 Vital. The patient gains 1 Fatigue — the procedure is effective, and upsetting, in that order. This is the second road to Vitals recovery the roster needs, priced in the crawl’s own currency.
  • Stitch (action, cooldown): stop an ally’s Bleed and restore 2 Wind. Bedside manner not included at this price point.
  • Passive — Post-Mortem Expertise: Boon on anything involving corpses; the first time each run you examine a fallen enemy of a faction, the party learns its kind’s numbers. You’ve seen this before. The patient was dead at the time.